His back is dripping with water, along with his neck and arms. His bare feet leave wet footprints on the carpet as he walks to his bedroom. His jeans cling on at patches on his wet legs. He reaches his bedroom and plunges onto his bed, flinging his phone by his pillow. The phone responds by vibrating very loudly and annoyingly.
"Go away," Nick mutters. He's not ready to go back to work right now. But instead of a crime scene call, it is simply a text from Gil Grissom.
Grissom texts?
"Happy birthday, Nick," is the message.
Oh yeah. My birthday has been very happy so far...
What happened?
"Shut up!" Nick yells. "I know what happened!"
What happened?
What happened?
What happened?
What happened?
Nick is on the floor. He is on all fours. He is sweating, even though he just got out of the shower. Her voice won't go away.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything!” he shouts, tears starting to flood his eyes again. “I tried, Haley!”
Nick now sits on the edge of his bed, his head buried in his shaking hands. He can feel two arms wrap around him gently. Two dry arms, smooth, smaller than his. A teenager’s arms...
"It's just like with Warrick...If we could have figured out it was McKeen...If...If I would have went with Warrick...If I could have figured out it was Nicole all along...Haley would still be alive..."
His body shakes and jerks. He knows he is sobbing. But he's not holding back this time. He did that enough with Langston...
"I heard what happened," her voice says in his ears.
Nick twitches at the last two words she utters. She grasps onto him a little tighter. He takes in another gulp of air.
"I can see why Grissom left...This job..."
"This job is the reason you're sitting here right now, Nick," she comforts him. She's always been the better voice in his head...
"Still...I...I don't think I'm doing it--"
"Shut up. You're a damn good CSI, Nicholas Parker Stokes. And Haley...maybe she didn't have to die, but you don't have to beat yourself up over this,"
"But...but I saved Cassie...there's no reason I couldn't save--"
"Nick, you're human. You can't be Superman all the time. None of us can,"
“I was rescued. Sara was rescued--”
“Haley wasn’t kidnapped. Haley wasn’t held for ransom, she wasn’t killed for revenge,”
“I still should have seen the signs over this last year,”
“Just like we should have seen Warrick’s death coming?”
Nick twitches again. He has still not found the peace that would finally lay Warrick’s ghost to rest. She just keeps holding him.
“There is a reason we do what we do. We get out of bed to go find the truth. We may not always save lives, and we may not see the truth fast enough to prevent another death. Grissom said that on a case one time, a man told him, ‘You do God’s work.’ And we do, Nick. We help the families and even the victims, dead or alive, find peace in knowing who committed a crime against them. And it’s up to us to find that peace with them every case,” she says.
“I still hear their voices, though...”
“Look, I know it was a crappy speech, but could you at least tell me it helped you for just one second?”
Nick turns to look at her and smiles in spite of her youthful spirit.
“That’s the Nicky I know,” she says, hugging him. His face suddenly feels as if it’s on fire.
“I better text Grissom back,” he replies bashfully. As he texts back, he gives her a full smile. “Thanks, Naomi,”